so i could only find two smf2 youtube bbcode mods......... the first one used a non-standard player with no controls, and it didnt even actually work for me (audio worked but the video was just a black screen)
this one adds youtube tags, but then it just autoembeds all youtube links anyways even if you dont use the tags, because apparently thats a popular feature for some fucking reason. if you disable it (its a per-user thing, in the "look & layout" preferences) then all youtube videos display as links even if theyre in tags. also using [youtube] tags causes a broken end tag to appear after the video, but using [yt] tags works
im probably going to try to like hack out the autoembed thing or something........ not sure how hard it will be or when i will get around to doing it